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Fall I Want by Lyra Parish
First and foremost I’d like to say that this review does contain spoilers and sensitive information regarding adult activities. So caution should be considered before reading on.
Rating: ⭐️
Genre: “Romance” (Erotica)
Status: Rated-R
Synopsis:
Autumn
The brokenhearted billionaire visits Cozy Creek to escape. I never expected to become his fake girlfriend or fall madly in love… but here we are.
My first impression of Zane Alexander isn’t great. The second is worse, but when he uses his powers of persuasion to get me to hang out with him, I can’t say no. We quickly go from familiar strangers to flirty friends.
When my ex returns, Zane flawlessly pretends to be my boyfriend to protect me. He’s so damn good at it, I almost believe it.
I don’t know when our relationship moves from pretending to passionate, but I catch feelings. As our exes desperately crawl back into our lives like zombies, I realize there is only one man for me, and (f)all I want is him.
Zane
Everything changes the moment I see her. Autumn’s enchanting gaze makes my heart race, so I push her away to protect myself. Immediately, I regret it. But when I find her standing in my haunted house, I convince her to be my friend. She begrudgingly agrees.
As the leaves transform and Cozy Creek’s fall festivities come alive, our playful charade blossoms into something more. The lines between real and pretend begin to blur, and I find myself falling under her spell.
I should keep my broken heart in check, but instead, I fight for love that feels like magic. This woman is all I’ve ever needed and (f)all I want.
Plot:
How best to describe the plot when in truth there wasn’t one. Other than screwing each other on a constant basis. This book wasn’t really built on love, or a real genuine relationship, in actuality it was nothing more than insatiable lust. It reminds me of books made for the sole purpose of two individuals constantly having intercourse, the common name for those specific books is erotica. This book better falls under that category.
On a more personal level, I find romance books to be cute at times, especially fall themed small town romances that have all the right aesthetics and an up to chance meeting with the right guy/girl. This book in the beginning showed promise of these important instances, but ultimately the promises were broken and the story was extremely underwhelming.
Character development:
Let me start by saying there were two different Zane Alexander’s. The first to appear was the standard rich jerk that you would come to expect. The kind of man that would infuriate you but had the promise of something deeper and truly enthralling. The second became the exact opposite. He was impulsive, with way too much money that ended up making the entire book stale. He was obsessive, possessive, and altogether gag worthy. He had nothing with any kind of depth at all. It’s a character you would find in an erotica book or film, nothing with substance or grit. He was a cliché and one of the worst ones possible. I’d also like to note that the way he talks to Autumn in certain scenes was far from what would ever entice a respectable woman.
Autumn was simply just chaos. She is the shining version of everything a strong woman should never ever be. In short she was no more than a raging slut that pined after a guy who ended up being loaded. There was no respect to be had for her. If ever, and I mean ever, a rich guy who’s used to getting whatever he wants and has proven that over and over starts insulting and manipulating you at first and then turns around and makes you feel guilty for having a reaction once he begs for your attention and then continues to love bomb you after, run. Run very far and very fast. Throughout the entire book she pretty much didn’t have a personality aside from wanting to get into his pants. She never chose her clothes in New York, his sister did. She didn’t even choose her wedding dress and she had zero boundaries or respect for herself at times when she really should have. She had the maturity level of a 16 year old with an abundance of hormones.
The last character to mention is Harper. Why is she even there at all? Her entire presence just made this book so much worse. She predicted with a premonition about Zane and Autumn which at first could have been cute, instead it was pushy and borderline just creepy. Constantly, throughout the entire book, she had her hands pushing and her nose way too far up in their business. She basically just took over certain events like a control freak. She had absolutely no character development or purpose other than to bore the reader and act like a cliche crystal ball reader. Who then proceeded to get further involved and play with Autumn like she was a Barbie. Her words, not even mine. Worst character choice on that front.
World building:
When you first start the novel, you are encapsulated by this small town named Cozy Creek with all the fall themed amenities. Festivals, pumpkin patches, pumpkin bread, coffee, and sweaters. It really felt like the start to an exquisite fall read. I have to give credit where credit is due. However, the script was completely flipped to the big city of New York, gone was the fall vibes and cozy atmosphere, and instead was replaced by stale rich get togethers and a shopping spree. Oh, and of course, more innuendos and intercourse.
Writing:
I’m not even sure how to mark this particular section. The writing took forever. Truthfully, 75% of the book could have easily been removed and the point would have still been made. Which is profoundly terrible since the biggest flaw of this story was them clearly moving way too fast and prematurely into a very serious relationship with total strangers. The repetition of them pining, “eye screwing” and literally screwing each other was altogether humiliating. I skipped many of those particular “sensitive” scenes and I was still disturbed and repulsed. My best friend mentioned that this book reminded him of AI work, and truthfully, that would make a whole lot of sense. Most of the events within this book that didn’t involve them screwing made no sense.
Final thoughts:
I made several mistakes with this book choice. First, I bought it. Then, I began reading it, and lastly despite my better judgement and instincts, I (kept) reading it to be able to write this review. Knowing what I know now, I could not have been paid to read this book, and I certainly wish I never paid to read it. I’d like my money back.
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